I’ve been lucky in life. I won the genetic lottery (by the cosmic roll of the dice) when it comes to family and I’ve had the good fortune to develop life-long friendships. Really the vast majority of my life the wind has been at my back. In terms of goals, dreams, successes, from a young age, I had the gumption that I could achieve whatever my hopes or aspirations were as long as I worked hard, and so went the majority of my adolescence and adulthood. I graduated from college, moved to the city, worked, met my husband, fell in love, got married, started my own company, then decided to get married.
Just like that everything that I’ve ever dreamed of came to fruition. Like most couples after we got married, we decided to start a family. An unexpected pregnancy loss left us with the news we were both carriers for cystic fibrosis. We had just lost my Mother-in-law to cancer and the series of events was utterly devastating, to say the least.
My paradigm began shifting around February of 2012. My journey to motherhood would not be the conventional one I had always envisioned. Things wouldn’t come easy and it was completely out of my control, for once I had to put things in God’s hands. Fast forward to last year when Jim and I wanted to expand our family again. Let’s just say things didn’t go as planned. But there in all the uncertainty, heartache, and sadness came another paradigm shift, for the better.
I have more friends than I can count on my two hands that have been impacted in some way by loss, infertility, secondary infertility, an unexpected diagnosis of a disease or chromosome abnormality with their children. But through all the heartache there is so much LOVE.
Here are just a few of the gifts that motherhood have taught me.
1). Acceptance: LOVE THYSELF. You have to love and accept yourself first. In this chapter of my life, I was forced to revisit this. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching this year that I wouldn’t have done otherwise, and I’m very thankful for that which leads me to…
2). Gratitude: There’s not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for what I have. Blogging from afar can look like a lot of fluff and consumerism and I’m not blind to this. I enjoy beautiful things, pretty pictures and I am genuinely passionate about inspiring others. However, there is no doubt about it, if our home burns down tomorrow I’m walking out with the three most important people in my life and could care less about anything else. I’m also grateful for my journey because it has allowed me more….
3) Empathy: The above experiences have broadened my understanding as a human being. I see things differently because I’ve been on both sides of the coin. I’ll never quite understand how everyone feels because that is their own subjective experience but I have a lot more emotional intelligence now. Becoming a mother has really reinforced my belief that we are all the same, everyone just wants to be loved and deserves to be loved in return.
One of my favorite quotes is from Elizabeth Stone, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Being a mother is the most difficult yet rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life.
The twins are by far the greatest gift in my life, but the gift has also been in the journey.
To all the amazing Mother’s, Grandmother’s, Sisters, Motherless or women hoping to become mothers who support, love, and raise each of us up every day …Happy Mother’s Day to you all ladies! I hope you are all celebrating with the women that make the most difference in your lives.
Happy Mother’s Day!